Just don't get it.

I just can't seem to figure out why you have to make me feel like I'm tiny. Like I don't seem to have an opinion. Why the things that are half mine are somehow all yours. Why is it like that? I let you use all my things from day one but that doesn't seem to matter to you so whatever. I don't understand it but it just gives me the motivation to pay off my debts and save up to get the things I want and make them how I want and I can guarantee that when that day comes I won't share either. What's mine is mine and what's done is done and I hope someday you'll figure out just how much the little things you think don't matter hurt. A lot. :( 

things that make me think... that I want to smack some sense into my brother.... what was he thinking????

to start things off this will be a majorly long, drawn out, heartfelt rant full of frustration. Millennials. Ugh! To find the source of this rant, check out this article::: Every word is the truth. The Millennials are beginning to reach graduation and are now the ones serving you at steak & shake or McDanks, they're the ones that make your Blizzards and bag your groceries. Now yes, there are those few that are making a life for themselves, even tho the TRUE 2000s kids are just now halfway thru their Junior year of high school, but lets keep in mind those are a rare few. Growing up as a 90s kid was perfect. Yes, I got spanked, yelled at, and even got the belt when the occasion called for it. I am now 22 and paying all my bills - ON TIME, moved out of my parents house, well on the way to paying off the loan on my second vehicle - of which I did NOT need a co-signer on my loan, graduated college with an AAS in AgBiz Management - with NO student loans, and as of Jan 3, 2016 I will be working full time as a Sales Supervisor and a brilliant company after spending the past 2 years going between 6 different positions in 3 different career fields, trying to find my right path. I'm a '93. My brother, a '98. The difference is incredible. in just those few short years, the way he and I were taught, raised, and now treated as "adults", is completely opposite. And I think its a disgrace. I was watching Gilmore Girls on Netflix (its my day off, yay retail jobs) and saw - duh duh duhhhhh! - Teletubbies. Chris' toddler gi-gi on GG was watching teletubbies... and I still somehow knew the whole song in the beginning. THE HORROR!!!! But that toddler, gi-gi, is now well on her way to college, probably with her tuition paid for by being a cute kid on GG, but still. She is in the same boat as my baby brother! And let's just touchbase on my brother, tho not a true 2000s kid, he sits well with the crowd. He doesnt work, tho he's 17. I had my first job, shoveling horse shit in the middle of july mind you, when i was 16. I used that $$ to pay for gas in my truck and mcdonalds in my stomach after class. I paid for my phone, my insurance, and kept that truck spotless. That kid got given a truck, that hasnt seen a bath in ages, and then put a new radio in it. How he got that money, i will never know. and then he does the FLICK. the packing a chew can loud enough everyone can find out what you're doing flick. ohhhhhhhhhh i would have been SHOT if i ever did anything like that. and then he goes and he blows thru like $500 in less then a month, on "food and movies and stuff". Bullshit kid we both know you have someone buyng you chew and beer. but my parents, who live in separate states, but are still married, dont do shit to figure it out. Now, hes grounded from the truck, for punching someones windshield so hard he shattered it. because he got blocked in at caseys and instead on being smart and going back in and telling the cashier that they were doing that, no he just punched a windshield like a idiot. and now, he doesnt even have to pay for it. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!! yet another reason i would have been shot! and then i would have been told find a way to school and to work, and then you can pay for that kid to get a new windshield. but he cried his way out yet again. SMDH! He doesnt get spanked, he doesnt get the belt, he doesnt get grounded. they yell, he cries, its back to what he was doing before in less then 48 hours. THIS IS THE PROBLEM WITH TODAYS KIDS. they are rude, they are stubborn, they cry soooo damn much! they never say thank you, they somehow always seem to get what they want, but i never see the ones in fucking brand new vehicles working for them. just cuz you have rich parents doesnt make you rich. when you turn 16, youhave a 0 balance on that bank account and guess what, it's your job to fill it to be able to go have fun. but that's not how it works these days. a little whine and cry and boom, new truck, new xbox, new tv, you get the point. cry a little closer to me, ill give you a new boot to sit on too.Hope you like genuine leather covered in mud and deer shit kid, cuz its gonna be stuck for a while. and for the love of god parents, spank you kids! a swat on the ass will not kill them! if anything it will make their brain comprehend that when they do something bad, they get hurt, so if they dont want hurt then they wont do something bad! I'm not saying beat them to where theyre limping and bruised like crazy. but a nice firm swat on the ass, that makes it sting a tiny bit, might do some good, and definitely wont do any bad.

sales, stress, and other stupid S words....

woah! been a while since ive got to post! Since Dec my life has been upside down! here's the lowdown - 1. the cancer patient passed away, hardest thing ever, the day before she was fine! and then the next... unresponsive. she taught me so many things and i wish i could have learned so many more. but there are ways she's still teaching me. 2. me and D... are no more. now not many of you even know who he was, since i stopped blogging for basically our whole 4 year relationship, and well, that was a mistake cuz then maybe things would have been different, but being there and him never being there for me... too much for this girl to take. 3. and along came RK, who is like my knight in shining armor cuz yeah hes my boyfriend but more importantly, he is my BEST FRIEND. and that is something i have never had before. we laugh and joke around and act like dorks and he helps me face my fears and is just the best thing to ever happen in my life and i have NEVER been able to say that about anyone before! 4. i lost who i thought was my best friend, she lied, and she hates me cuz of the way i ended it with D. ummm does she even know how it ended? i doubt it. but her backstabbing sure helped speed up the process. 5. i moved. into the nicest house ever (its cute!) and im so greatful to live there and sleep next to the man i love every night. its truely the best feeling on earth. 6. i got a new car! 7. i worked for 6 months at a car dealership. i say worked cuz today is my last tuesday... tomarrows my last wed... you get the deal. 8. ^^ job above stressed me out so much, it killed my immune system. i am now trying to recover from a extreme bacterial infection. 500mg of antibiotics twice a day... it packs a punch. so there you have it. what ive been up to. now that im back to blogging then you wont have to worry bout having a recap like taht again. Stress free and starting over! xoxo - K.

There's a big line in the sand

There is this boundary, and it's like the Mexican border. It's apparently so difficult to cross but then poof. There's a ton of illegal immigrants around. 

That's the way it is with R too. In like .0000344 seconds we go from best friends to.... Something else. And we can talk bout "if we..." All the time, we both know it's gonna be the same as it is now. Just more of it. And let's be entirely honest here. It probably wouldn't be that bad of a situation either. Although I feel like it would never have future plans, it would be a live each day as it comes kinda thing and idk if I can handle that. Sounds far too stressful. Too bad I can't find that switch, duct tape it to FRIENDS and then like bury it a wall or something. Then this just wouldn't be so darn difficult. :/ 

That line in the sand, it need to be the Grand Canyon but hell, didn't someone jump it? And walk across it on a tight wire? Guess there's always a way to get around it. 

-K

Ya know what? Fine. I give up

If all ur gonna do is lay there in the chair, I give up. I'm done. I try and try and try. I tell you what I want. I hint at it all the time. And nothing. Once upon a time you did all these cute things to get me to be your girlfriend, well 4 years later I can scream at the top of my lungs, begging you to do those cute things and you still won't do them. Since you can't take a hint I guess it means that you need a fucking wake you up moment. Since all you ever want to do is sleep. I'm saving up and I'm moving out. By myself. Cuz I give up. "Do what you did to get her, and you'll keep her for forever". Yeah. You don't do that.  😞😢😢😢

I got nuthin....

So bday.... Is in 5 days.... Dunno what I wanna do.... Don't know what I wanna get for a gift.... Not a clue. Kinda wanna road trip tho so who wants to give me some gas $$.... Or better yet a truck for a few days? 

From the land of Christmas carols and holly jolly scents....

I feel like night 1 of this floor set was far too much of a struggle/way more exhausting then it needed to be.... Here's hoping tomorrows (oh wait I mean tonight's) is better the tonight's (shoot I mean last nights?) 

On the bright side swing by bbw tomarrow! New scent and those holiday body care faves r out plus 15 new soaps scents and can't forget candles and wallflowers! I know where all my savings is gonna end up going. Unfortunately.  😉

Missing this...

Missing the summer days spent out in the middle of nowhere when all that mattered was how fast u wanted to ride ur 4wheeler..... I miss us all being friends and not having any struggles. I miss being able to see my best friends whenever i wanted and not having anyone be mad about it! Ugh! Most of all I miss seeing this guy....

He's the best of the best and I'm sick of only seeing him for a few minutes a few times a year. I wanna see him on a regular basis and be able to talk to him bout my problems and know that he's not gonna judge me at all....he's been there n he knows what it's like... And he don't want me to go thru it again. He's my very best friend but seems like best friends aren't there much in my life. And apparently they don't think they need to talk to me unless it's on their schedule. And it's Rlly pissing me off. 😞💔👎😠